Analytical Chemistry

If there was one thing I learned about in analytical chemistry, it was about EDTA. Do you know where you might find such a thing? Check your salad dressing. EDTA chelates metals, meaning it binds to metals and essentially locks them out so no organisms can use them. This means that if microorganisms try to grow in the salad, they are out of luck. With no metals to use, they cannot function properly, and thus die.

The one thing I'm wondering is whether EDTA is harmful to us.

The Intergalactic Conference

In the very distant future, the planet Earth has developed an alliance with other human planets. This will be the very first Intergalactic Conference. Quite a remarkable and historical event. Planet Earth has decided to send one person to the conference to give a presentation about Earth and get the other planets excited about us. 

After an extremely intensive selection process, the following people made it to the final round of selection:

World's Most Loving Teacher

World's Most Altruisitc Doctor

World's Most Innovative Engineer

World's Most Popular President

World's Funniest Author

World's Hardest Working Garbage Man

World's Poorest Homeless Man

World's Greatest Business Man

Who do we send to represent Earth?

Confessions on Balloons

Sometimes I want to buy balloons, write on them, and let them sail into the sky, never to be seen again.

I want to confess three things. I want to write them down on a balloon and forget about them.

First Confession

I secretly hate school because they never put a music program into my education. I envy those who can play instruments.

Second Confession

I secretly hate cars because they get me places no faster or more efficient than taking public transit. I pity those that think they're rich and smart just by driving around a car.

Third Confession

I secretly hate myself because I give up on my own goals too easily only to come back on them later on. But I love myself. I love myself for being mature enough to realize that achieving my goals is never too late.

Can You Please Smile?

I know, your teeth look hideous. I can assure you, they are nowhere near as hideous as mine. Have you seen my front two teeth?

And even when my teeth look hideous, when I smile, people smile back. And they don't smile back because of my teeth. How do I know? One, because they look me in the eye when they smile. And two, because they are far enough away that they won't see how hideous my teeth is.

So smile! Smiling is good for you. Smiling makes other people feel good. Smiling may increase your lifespan by who knows how much. 

Can you please smile?

Some Fast Food Logic

Here's a math problem for you.

People can buy one Big Mac for approximately $5. Let's say, on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being starving like a giraffe, and 10 being stuffed like a turkey, they Big Mac fills you up to a level of 7.

Now, I usually like to buy 3 McDoubles. Each McDouble costs $1.69, which comes to a total of $5.07. If I shove all three burgers down my throat, I fill up to a 12, which is stuffed like a dead turkey. So, why do people buy a Big Mac and not get filled up when they can buy 3 McDoubles and save one for later?

Song of a Sleepless Child Part 2

Let their undead legions come

I am living, they are dead

The fire of my heart will engulf them in my flames of courage

My fists, my flames

My room, my rules

My battle, my victory

I see their horns, I smell their breathe, I hear their roars

The first hand tries to grab me

I burn the hand off its body

Hands ascend from underneath the bed

The closet shakes with legions

The owl screams in fear

Flames surround my fists

My room burns in my eternal blaze

Let the war begin

Song of a Sleepless Child Part 1

Two minutes ago, the clock struck midnight
The owl perched on the rooftop
As if it was in the moon's spotlight
A scream, and the owl jumped with a hop

Don't worry, just go to sleep
You did not hear a screaming sound
It was probably just a lonely sheep
Go to sleep and don't look around

Still can't enter your nightly slumber?
Do you know what happens when you are awake?
They come in endless numbers
Making sure you will never wake